Last Updated on April 9, 2019

Sometimes, life throws you a curveball.

I know quite a few folks facing hard times right now. Divorce. Illness. Financial problems. Death of a family member. You probably know people going through the same thing (or, maybe you’re the one facing the difficult days).

It’s interesting to see how people deal with life’s less stellar moments. Some people face their adversity head-on. They see what’s happening, they ignore the fear, and they charge straight ahead.

Other folks don’t handle it quite as well. They turn inward and blame themselves. Life feels uncontrollable and scary. And no matter how much things improve, they always expect the other shoe to drop.

That’s not a fun place to be.

Adversity is one of life’s constants, like death and taxes. No matter how good things are now, something…unpleasant…is going to happen.  The key is – will you let that thing (whatever it is) destroy you? Or will you kick adversity’s ass instead and thrive?

Oddly, I’ve found that my most successful times are a direct result of crappy things happening. When I got laid off and had no money, I started freelancing – and discovered that I loved the writer’s life. When my husband died, I focused my energies on building my brand – and SuccessWorks was born. When I got hit with a huge and unexpected tax liability, I creatively thought of ways to make more money – and had my best year ever.

Yes, I’m stubborn. But I’m also a firm believer that what doesn’t kill me does make me stronger.

Having said that, there may be some times that you’d rather curl up than fight. If adversity is weighing down your world, here’s how to deal with it – and eventually kick its ass.

Feel the emotion and let it go. It’s normal to feel scared, angry, remorseful, guilty – you name it. Pushing the feelings aside will do nothing but bottle them up. The key is to tell yourself, “I’m going to acknowledge whatever icky emotion this is, and then I’m going back to work.” It doesn’t mean that you’ll stop feeling scared, angry and remorseful. It just means that you’ll stop focusing on fear and focus on you instead.

Make a list of what you can control.  There’s always something you can do, no matter how uncontrollable the situation seems at the time. Can you contact past clients and see if they have any work that they need done? Can you start exercising – even a little bit – so you can clear your mind? Heck. some days, “controlling what you can control” means only having the energy to make one important phone call. That’s OK. Make a list of everything that you can do, both big and small. Reminding yourself that you can “control the controllables” is a huge mental-health move.

Take care of your business “baby.” Are you self-employed? It’s easy to put off important business things because your brain isn’t clicking along at full capacity. However, the last thing you need is for your business to suffer because you’re going through a dark time. Remember that your business is your baby. It needs your constant attention, no matter what else is happening in your life. If you can’t give it 100%, find someone who can fill in and help. Taking your hands off of the business wheel will add extra financial stress down the line – trust me. I know.

Take action every day. You may feel paralyzed by your current situation. That’s normal. The key is to snap yourself out of it and take some action every day. Maybe that means figuring out a new budget. Or calling some people who can help you. Or doing some research. Don’t let a day go by without doing something that will help shake you out of your current situation.

Don’t be afraid to pay for help. If you’re facing a financial hit, your first instinct may be to tighten your purse strings. That’s a smart instinct – but don’t be penny wise and pound foolish. If your business needs a tax pro to help you out of this situation, hire one. If you need a better business plan, work with a consultant. If you need to talk to a counselor, find one.  Don’t add “I can’t afford it” to your already high stress level.  Spend what you need to spend and pull yourself out of your current hole.

Talk to someone about how you’re feeling.  Do you feel your stomach tighten and your heart rate increase every time you think about whatever is going on? Don’t bottle it up inside – get it out. Find a friend or trusted confident and tell them what’s going on. Cry with them, laugh with them and let them show you the “other side” of your situation.  You’ll walk away with a new perspective (and focus, too!).

Remember that it will pass. The situation – whatever it is – is temporary. It may not go away tomorrow, but it will go away. You will learn some (hard) lessons as a result of the situation, but that’s OK. We all do. The more adversity we face, the better prepared we are to kick its ass – and move through it with grace, confidence – and even a little bit of humor!

What’s your favorite way of overcoming adversity and kicking its ass?

Last Updated on March 11, 2019

Are you wondering if your “SEO expert” has been around as long as he claims? Feeling like you’ve been in the business since the beginning of SEO time?

Here are 18 ways to tell if you’re an SEO O.G. (“old guard” or ‘original gansta”.) Plus, you’ll find even more tips, thanks to a little help from my SEO friends.  If you’re new to the SEO world, you’ll enjoy reading how much things have changed. And if you’re an O.G. SEO too – enjoy! Here’s your trip down memory lane.

1. You remember when getting a Yahoo Directory listing was a big deal.
2. You have a robot t-shirt from the original Googledance.
3. You remember when Search Engine Strategies was so small that roundtable sessions were the norm.
4. People didn’t know who Danny Sullivan was.
5. One word: Looksmart
6. You didn’t optimize for Google – because Google didn’t exist.
7. RankWrite was the only resource that discussed SEO copywriting.
8. You remember prospects telling you, “We won’t pay you, but we’ll give you a piece of the company. Our company is gonna be huge.”
9. You remember the dotcom crash, the F*cked Company site and a bunch of companies going out of business.
10. A little engine called GoTo.com launched – and you debated whether PPC was really viable.
11. “Big Boy” reminds you of Inktomi first – then the hamburger chain.
12. I-Search was THE email newsletter to read. Having your post featured was a big deal, too.
13. Search Engine Strategies San Francisco was at the Fairmont – complete with a sit-down, steak lunch.
14. “Content optimization” meant making sure that you had a 5.5% keyword density for AltaVista.
15. You remember when Bruce Clay was featured in Wired magazine.
16. You remember answering the question,”Commas or spaces in the meta keywords tag?”
17. You didn’t need glasses when you first started your SEO career (after all, you were probably in your late 20’s or early 30’s!).
18. Danny Sullivan called you a “first generation” search marketer way back in 2006.

Plus, here are some more – thanks to all of my O.G. friends who contributed!

HUGE thanks to David Burke of VisualFuture (and Sally Burke, too!) who let me post this pic from “back in the day!’ Folks pictured are David Burke, Sally Burke, Jill Whalen, Craig Paddock, me (back when I was a blonde) and Chris Sherman.

Last Updated on February 27, 2019

This Sunday, September 11th, I’ll be heading to NYC on an American Airlines flight.

And yes, I do feel the significance of flying on that airline on that date.

I’m not much for anniversaries, but there’s something about the 10 year anniversary of September 11th that can’t be ignored.  Like so many people around the world, I was glued to the television that day as I watched the events unfold. Two months later, I was in NYC for the first time with Anthony Muller, Detlev Johnson and Jill Whalen. I still remember the lights around Ground Zero as they cleared the wreckage. And the way people were just a little bit kinder to each other.

It was a terrible and beautiful time to be in the City and it will stay with me forever. Like so many people around the world. I learned some incredible lessons that day – many of which shaped how I run my business. Here are just a few:

People are good. In today’s “you must practically disrobe before boarding a plane” mentality, it’s easy to see evil around every corner. You hear stories about businesses being ripped off by clients who won’t pay – or mortgage companies kicking folks out of their homes – and it’s easy to believe that the only person we can trust is, well, ourselves.

Once upon a time, I was on yet another American flight. My dog was dying, and I needed to make it home that night so I could spend just a little more time with her before I took her to the vet the next day. My seat was in the back of the plane – and my connection was tight. The stewardess said that I wouldn’t get off the plane in time to make my connecting flight. I was devastated until…

…A wonderful gentleman in first class heard my story and volunteered to switch seats with me (he must have been an angel, because no-one voluntarily gives up their first class seat for a middle coach one). I was the first off the plane – and the last on my connecting flight. Because of that man, I was able to spend my last hours with Corky the Corgi. I’ll never forget him.

There are incredible stories about how people are helping others. Kickstarter is a fantastic example of complete strangers coming together to help someone reach their goal. Conferences have charity parties. Churches and community groups help people every day. You can choose to focus on what you read in the paper (which is usually negative,) or focus on the light you see in people. I prefer to see the light.

Don’t judge others. Six months after September 11th, I was rudely pushed out of line as I was boarding a plane. Imagine my chagrin when the “pusher” was my seatmate – and for half the flight, I was stewing over what I saw as a personal affront. Then the man started talking. He was back in NYC for the first time after the attacks. Not only did this man lose many of his friends in the World Trade Center bombing, he told the story of holding a woman who watched her husband die. By the end of the flight, we were both bawling like babies – and I realized what I considered “rude” was just another human being trying to cope.

Consider if you find yourself judging people, and see how you can change your attitude. Do you step around the homeless man on the street with the thought “Get a job” bouncing in your brain? Do you see people who are more successful than you and think, “Well, at least I didn’t have to sell my soul to get where I am today.” Do you judge the writer who asks for too little – or too much – money? It’s amazing how much more clearly we can see others when we drop our preconceived notions and allow ourselves to see people for who they really are.

You can make a difference in someone’s life today. There doesn’t need to be a worldwide incident for you to be the change you want to see in this world. Write a thank you note to someone who has made a difference in your world (I just wrote one to my high school English teacher – and damn, it felt good.) Help a stranger just because you can. Donate to a wonderful cause. Be a mentor and help someone’s career. Heck, even being friendly to your local Starbucks barista (rather than being on your phone and barking your latte order) can make a huge difference.

Other ways you can help right now:

– Answer a question in Linked In or Quora.

– Speak  at your local high school or college.

– Help someone launch their business.

– Volunteer to help a non-profit.

It may not seem like much to you, but spending just a little bit of time can mean a tremendous amount to someone else.

Life is short – live it. In the two years prior to September 11th, I had lost both my father and my husband. Since then, I’ve lost two other friends – one to an accident, one to cancer. What have I learned? I tell my friends that I love them. I cherish every day and take nothing for granted. I live life on my own quirky, eccentric terms. And I hold nothing back. I would rather give whatever I’m doing my all and fail spectacularly (although there’s really no such thing as “failure,”) than do a half-assed job and hope that no-one notices me.

If you’ve been holding yourself back, it’s time to break free. Screw the fear! It does nothing but hurt you. That could mean…

– Quitting your day job and starting your own business.

– Trying your hand at public speaking.

– Raising your rates.

– Trying something new – a new sport, reading a new book. Even listening to new music can pull you out of your comfort zone.

This September 11th, let’s take the time to celebrate ourselves – and each other. After all, we are the change that we’ve been waiting for.